How To Be A Unique Dream Team Couple
- Apr 6, 2016
- 7 min read
There are those couples that are either awkward, savage, toxic, adorable, basic, predictable, etc…..But then every once in awhile we see those, “dream team” couples. They may be rare but honestly, do they have to be? Why can’t there be more iconic romances? Let’s make it the mainstream, But How?!
After getting input from many different people and making my own personal observations, this is a list of 12 qualities that contribute to these power couples:
1. Mutual Respect
Both parties not only adore each other but they can both agree on their respect for one another . As obvious as having respect for the person you are in a relationship with sounds, it’s actually surprising how little people actually mutually have respect for their partners 100%. Example: Within the relationship, one person has a habit of talking behind their friend's backs but their partner absolutely has zero understanding or compassion for that type of behavior so they end up losing respect for their gossiping partner. Aka not 100% mutual respect any longer. Dream Team Couples maintain 100% respect, that's how they are, "goals".
2. Confidence.
Ah yes, the most oversaturated topic talked about in every self-help book and magazine out there. But for a good cause? Absolutely. It's important to understand that without confidence, you are constantly living in doubt of yourself and fearing everything around you. Not only does fear isolate you, it also deteriorates your connections with people over time. Thanks to those excessive insecurities, the feeling of “love” can become almost foreign.
SO now imagine two partners both having a strong independence and confidence within themselves and when they are together not a minute of energy is being vacuumed into all their self absorbed, doubtful thoughts. Instead, the moments that would have been for negative thoughts are being used towards getting creative with fun ideas they want to do with their partner in this life and expanding their horizons! Imagine a relationship where you both come to each other with fun ideas and different expressions of love rather than baskets full of accusations, petty fights, and ego drama. Sounds fun to me!
3.Humor
Being able to laugh with your partner not only releases fantastic dopamines in your body, it also can create a little bit of confidence. How so? being capable of not taking things too seriously and knowing when to find the humor in any scenario gives you the opportunity to rise above petty situations in life. Being capable of rising above=more joy. more joy=more smiles=more laughs=bonus confidence. More joy, humor, and confidence = living the dream life with your partner! It’s a win win for everyone!
4. Both Ambitious
We all have the potential to do anything we want, there might just be very different paths to get there. Despite the obstacles and all the trials that come with following your dreams, maintaining your ambition will not just keep you timelessly attractive, but it will also raise the stakes and expectations of yourself. When you start to raise the standard of your lifestyle and character, you get to experience emotions and opportunities you didn't even know existed.
It's equivalent to playing Super Mario and every level you go up the more abilities you can unlock that previously would not be achievable unless you had entered the abyss of the harder levels.
When two people in a relationship are supportive of eachother and committed to ambitiously making their wildest dreams happen, both people will develop new aspects of themselves and get to share those neoteric qualities with each other. This ambition not only unlocks unforseen new qualities but it also produces a unique form of sharing within the partnership.
5. Both Care About Something Bigger Than Themselves
Being a selfless person can mean you are able to give without expecting anything in return for yourself. Caring and sharing selflessly with people, places, animals, or things can open the doors to your heart because of the vulnerability of an honest expression.
Whether you do this through charitable deeds, helping the elderly, preserving the environment, serving your god, your business, a child, etc. by not focusing on yourself so much you excercise the muscle in your brain that helps you be more selfless.
Your added contribution to the world, can probe your mind to start to understand the value of your unique presence. After you start expanding on the value of your life, it becomes easier to take on the responsibility of being conscious of your thoughts and actions. The responsibility to be a caring and selfless partner becomes a piece of cake. A partnership that genuinely gives from a generous and selfless heart then becomes your reality! woohoo!
6. Both Play Up Their Best Assets & Accept The Lesser Parts
Not only is it a sign of self-awareness by being able to play up your emotional, intellectual, spiritual, sexual, and physical aspects, it also is a sign of self-acceptance. By being open about who you are and accepting it, you get plenty of breathing room to experiment with all the ways you want to live and be in the future. You can discover strengths within yourself through the breathing room self-acceptance permits. Two people smart enough to focus on each others strengths can make themselves think they both won the dating pool lottery(winninggg!).
But wait...what about all the weaknesses?! Well for one, they may not be weaknesses. Someone simply might have a way of thinking/doing things that don't get YOUR desired results. In life, it’s healthy to remember that you have to let go and let people simply be themselves, "flaws and all". Because that's how you would hope the person you loved would act towards you, right?
Sometimes it’s as simple as understanding we aren’t perfect, the best we can do is to make efforts to just love ourselves and each other regardless. EXCEPTION: when it’s highly incompatible differences that bring you down daily, leave sooner rather than later!
7. Can Be Any Type Of Relationship
This relationship can stand the test of time and the phases it goes through. Perhaps it started monogamous->turned open, went from long distance->living in the same house,
from two healthy bodies -> to one person with a deadly disease, hookup only -> married,
two legged -> to no legs, atheist->buddhist.
Whatever phase or transformation you two go through in the relationship, loyalty and focus on the positive can ground your partnership. Firm roots in these efforts can earn you the experience of what it really means to be supportive partners no matter what new phase the relationship develops.
8. Is A Rock Of Support In Trials
Leaning upon yourself and your real friends in our darkest hours can give us security and strength that makes us able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Feeling loved at your most unloveable can create an intimacy and appreciation for someone else that could only be described as deep respect and love at best. Having the security and comfort in knowing even in our lows, our partners will be friends to us and offer a helping hand can make a relationship so much more than just attraction and admiration.
This is what separates best friends from just ex’s. When you can look past all the pain and darkness someone might be going through and simply focus on being a rock and bring smiles on their faces like you would for a friend. The reward for this type of gentle compassion and patience is a lifetime of respect and deep friendship that has the ability to transcend life's hardest trials. Examples of this ride or die friendship: Eminem & Dr. Dre, Gale & Oprah Winfrey, Nelson Mandela & God, Jada Pinkett Smith & Will Sith, ring any bells?
9. Sign Up For Something Together
Acting class, volunteering somewhere, a co-ed sport team, self help bootcamp, dance studio, art lessons, hiking, gym, language class, the list is endless. If you sign up for something together you indirectly both work on your communication skills and help each other reach new heights in whatever you sign up for! And the bonus is lots of new memories you can always look back on! Fun stuff!
10.Create Something Together
Art, business, inventions, babies, book, ideas, games, a house, clothes, pottery, a toy, medicine, food, etc. Collaborate on something and create it! If you haven't already, sit down your partner and brainstorm up ideas of things both of you have always wanted to make and then pick from your lists something you both could collaborate on!
This will build creative skills, communitive skills, respect, fun memories, not to mention whatever awesome thing you both collaborated on!
NOTE: ONLY try this in a serious or committed relationship since the consequences of losing a creation due to a breakup can be extremely hard and may leave you with temporary insanity, depression, and big therapy bills.
11. Pay Attention To Each Other
Know what makes them feel appreciated, happy, wanted, loved, excited, turned on, mad, sad, scared. Basically, just know what their favorite things are. Why? we don't pay much attention to people we don’t care about so by making a conscious effort to know your partner you speak an unspoken language of love: attention. If you don’t care to make your partner feel loved, don’t pay attention. You can be lazy, the relationship might last a minute. But if you do want longevity and do care about how they feel, simply pay attention to them.
12. The Roots Of The Relationship Are Deep
Let intimacy, trust, vulnerability, acceptance, respect, support, patience, laughs, and love become your new best friends :). By rooting your relationship in deeper values, acts of love, and commitment to growth, both of you get the chance of planting fruitful seeds in the garden of relationships. In this one life you have, how great will it feel to know you went the extra mile to share extraordinary love with your someone special and gifted each other with the chance of living as a "dream couple". I can hear the Disney soundtrack already.
Want the quickest route to experience the 12 points listed above?
First, do the 12 things below:
1.Respect yourself
2.Build deep confidence in yourself
3.Develop a great sense of humor
4.Go after your ambitions
5.Care about something bigger than yourself and do something about it
6.Become self-aware and forgive yourself for shortcomings
7.Be willing to develop as a person
8.Become a rock of support for your friends/family and be ok with leaning on others too
9.Sign up for something you have always thought was cool
10.Create something
11.Pay attention to yourself and your needs
12.Know yourself so you can understand your personal values then create a lifestyle that helps you grow in self-respect, love, intimacy, and stronger relationships.
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